The Loonatic Critique
by ReflectiveSoul
Summary: There's always one way to find entertainment, and one of them is to look at all the things odd in life. This story will be a string of oneshots dedicated to the funny anomalies that are part of the show.


Going off on more side stories, I'm beginning to feel like my writing is acting like a video game. There is the main storyline and there are the hundreds of side missions and mini-games. To say the least, these are one of the side missions. In any case, I had thought about this idea and decided to implement some entertaining strings of oneshots.

Loonatics Unleashed has always been quite an entertaining show from Ace's quibs to Tech's unfortunate accidents. The more and more I watched the show I began to notice some inconsistencies, artistic errors and several plot holes. Some of these little subtleties can be entertaining themselves or just downright funny. I'll mention a few of them in each episode, but you guys can check them out for yourself while watching.

So for these oneshots, I'm going to go through revealing these oddities with the Loonatics looking at the episodes themselves. Funny, yes? Yeah, but as a warning to those who are reading, this is going to be one of those stories where you know that author was high or simply delirious. Well, it's neither! Ha!! I'm just sleep deprived.

Enjoy!

Loonatics Unleashed © Warner Bros.

* * *

Episode I: Loonatics on Ice

It was another dusk like day in the city of Acmetropolis, no matter how generic that may be. The twilight illuminated sky filtered through to the Loonatic headquarters as the superheroes went through their daily routines. Of course, when life gives way to whims of protecting the city at any given moment, it's hard to set a routine at all. However, routines are made by people and not the other way around.

"Attention everyone! Please meet me in the holo-conference room immediately."

All the Loonatics stared into space, hearing the voice that echoed through the walls. Each wondered what was going on that would cause Tech to call on them as suddenly as this. The team immediately went to the conference room where Zodavia usually briefed them on their missions.

"Yo Tech. Are you after my job today?" Ace jokingly asked.

"Not exactly chief. I've called you all here for an experimental session I have devised to help focus our abilities, increase our mission completion efficiency and our team's capability potential as a whole."

"What are you talking about?" Duck groaned.

"This is what I'm talking about." Tech typed in a sequence of buttons and revealed a holographic imaging feed that showed the Loonatics on their icy mission.

"Woah! What in the world is that Tech?!"

"This is the MRI: the mission recap index. This device and active database allows us to review past missions and improve our current battle styles from observing previous mistakes."

"Wait a minute Tech! How did you capture all these events on hologram?"

"Oh, it's simple actually. Remember when we faced Time Skip and needed Dr. Chroniker's help? Well, I incorporated some of his designs for the time displacer and used it to make an invention that would allow us to view the past."

"Yeah... that makes sense," Duck commented, "just as much as you understand the word 'boring'."

Tech typed in a another sequence and brought back a scene from Duck's childhood. Duck was seen as a baby while he was learning how to potty train. The scene showed Duck missing the "mark" a few times too often.

"H-hey! Shut that off!" Duck shouted as he blushed from the embarrassing holograms.

"Awww, isn't that cute," Lexi chimed. "Little Ducky is practicing how to aim." Sounds of giggles and chuckles came from around the room with Duck absolutely flushed.

"Yeah, kinda reminds me of the sprinklers back home," Ace remarked.

"Okay, okay! We get the picture Tech! Just get on with this 'experimental' session, will ya?" Duck folded his arms over his face on the table. The laughter died down as Tech continued his explanation.

"Alright everyone. The hologram will run through the mission while all of you observe anything we can improve on. Monitoring control will be switched to each of your panels. As the feed progresses you'll have the ability to pause the scene and make comments on what you find to the rest of us. Any questions?"

"Ooo-ooo-ooo!!" Rev waved his arm wildly in the air.

"Yes Rev?"

"Can-we-eat-some-snacks-while-we're-watching?"

Tech sighed at this question. The ultimate feedback device that can revolutionize a person's performance and here Rev was concerned about eating."Huhhh, sure why not?"

"Great!-You-guys-want-anything?"

"I'll have an orange soda." "Popcorn here." "Bununa zbit." "I'm good."

"Okay...-I-have-an-order-of-orange-soda,-popcorn,-one-banana-split,-and-nothin." Rev looked up at Tech. "Don't-you-want-anything?" Tech lowered his eyes half-way and folded his arms with a "what-do-you-think" look.

"Heh,-heh." Rev smiled sheepishly. "I'll-be-right-back." Rev zoomed out of the room and came back 20 seconds later. "Sorry-I'm-late.-The-popcorn-machine-was-giving-me-trouble." Rev handed everyone their stuff and sat down promptly with his own hot dog in hand.

"Is everything okay then?" Tech implored. The team nodded back. "Alright then, here we go."

-----

_Opening scene... iceberg comes crashing through to the harbor and port..._

_Zoom in through to the tower. Tech is eating a frozen pizza while Rev explained why the pizza is cold... _Click!

"Hey-cool!-It-works!"

"Rev! You're only suppose to pause it when you have an observation to make."

"But-I-do-Tech," Rev defended, "I-was-wondering-how-you-could-eat-that-pizza-without-breaking-your-teeth?-I-mean-look-at-it!-The-whole-pizza-is-covered-with-a-solid-layer-of-ice!"

"Well..."

"Yeah that is strange Tech," Lexi forwarded the inquiry. "That looks like a solid chunk of frozen pizza to me."

"Well..."

"And-what-about-that-comment-you-made-about-the-pizza-being-from-Iceland?-Isn't Greenland-the-icy-one?"

"Well... _(ahem)_... yes, yes." Tech coughed nervously. "Let's continue shall we?"

"Hey-hey-hey!"

Click!... _Camera zooms over to Duck who was looking at a mirror. Ace comments on Duck's choice of superhero names, while Duck says he needs to find a name to fit on the costume..._Click!

"Wait a second." Ace paused. "Why do you need a name that would fit on the costume? Our names aren't even on them?" Everyone looked at their costumes and noticed the same thing.

"You know," Duck said, "I never really noticed that." Meanwhile, the theme song from the twilight zone plays in the distance.

Click!... _Zodavia signals the Loonatics of the drop in temperature and the huge iceberg that somehow managed to find its way to Acmetropolis. Scene changes to Tech explaining about their retro-fire master blasters... _Click!

"Hey-I-have-a-question-Tech."

"What is it?"

"How-exactly-does-your-master-blaster-become-the-giant-cannon-we-love-so-much-from-that-dinky-little-puck-sized-metal?-I-mean-aren't-you-violating-the-law-of-conservation-of-mass-or-something?"

"Well it would appear that way, but I have a simple explanation for that... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "

"Okay, okay we get it already," Duck interrupted. "If I wanted to sleep, I'd rather do it in bed. Who needs to know how you made that defective thing anyway?"

Tech typed in another sequence that pointed to the time Duck had his first phobia: being scared of the ice cream man.

"Ahhh! Okay, okay! I'm sorry!"

"That's much better," Tech snickered.

Click!... _The team goes out of the tower with their jet packs and heads for the iceberg. They position themselves about the iceberg and fire. It doesn't work so Ace calls the strike off..._Click!

"Hey wait a second! I found something weird," Lexi reversed the footage and told everyone what she found. "Ace stopped firing his blaster, but when the scene switched to when we stopped firing there were still six beams." The team looked through the footage again and saw what Lexi was talking about.

"Fascinating."

"Bieer dif ooo aaast bee."

"You said it big guy."

"Maybe-your-MRI-database-thing-needs-a-few-adjustments-Tech?-I-mean-it-could-be-possible-that-it-is-giving-us-bad-view-from-the-past,-cause-I-don't-see-how-this-scenario-would-work-out-in-real-life,-I-mean-come-on!-Six-beams-when-only-five-of-us-are-blasting-away..."

Tech went over to Rev while he was explaining his 'deep' insight and shoved the hot dog Rev still had in his hand into his mouth.

"Like I said back then, these are one of the things that **don't** require an answer."

Click!... _Loonatics finally face the inter-dimensional vikings. Ace and Gunnar gave verbal jabs and comes to the stand off between Ace's laser vision and Gunnar's icy beam. The team falls to their knees and become encased in ice..._ Click!

"Now, I have a question Tech," Duck smiled deviously. "Why didn't you use your powers to get those Viking's weapons away from them? They **are **made of metal, right? So why'd you let us **freeze**?"

The question struck Tech to the root of his logical senses. "Well, I uhh... uhh... was explaining, yeah, explaining the effects and mechanics of their weapons. I must have been caught up in the moment of analyzing the new weaponry. Heh, heh, I mean I've never seen anything like it."

"Yeah, I'm sure that's what you were doing," Duck mocked sarcastically.

"Sure it is, unlike what you were doing…" Tech continued the footage when Duck was speaking to himself while they were still frozen.

"…_which makes me the leader… ."_

Duck chuckled nervously, while the others stared back at him and Tech was laughing with his smiling expression.

"Hey-wait-a-sec-guys!-Duck's using-his-quacking-powers-without-us-even-knowing-and-somehow-shifted-our-position."

The team looked at where Duck was positioned in the screen as he quacked out from the ice. The team was cringing from the ice beams, but they were standing up now that they were frozen. Also, while Duck was talking to himself he somehow shifted behind the team without even quacking.

"Hey… what's going on here doc? I could have sworn we were on the ground, not standing up."

"Perhaps while we were being frozen, the ice didn't completely solidify and allowed us to move when we instinctively reacted to being frozen alive, and thusly explains why we changed positions."

"Tech, you just made that up." Lexi remarked.

"N-no I didn't." Tech shifted his eyes nervously.

Click!... _After Zodavia's end transmission, Ace asks Tech for a way to battle the Viking's ship. Tech immediately signals for their multi-form motorcycles. They launch and battle the ship shooting giant ice-balls. The rapid-firing shots went after Slam as he knocked them away…_ Click!

"Hmm..."

"What is it Ace?" Lexi asked.

"I was just wonderin what happened to all those giant spit wads when we dodged all of 'em."

"So? What's to think about?" Duck questioned. "Aren't we suppose to care about not getting hit instead of worrying about what happened to those giant ice boulders trying to freeze us?"

"Well-it-would-be-strange-that-Ace-would-bring-that-up-except-that-he-makes-a-very-good-point,-specifically-on-the-direction-of-the-shots."

"Say what?"

"Can't-you-see-Duck-that-those-giant-ice-balls-were-all-aiming-downward-into-the-water?"

"So?"

"Well-wouldn't-the-water-freeze-by-the-time-it-ran-out-of-ammo?"

"Uhh..." Duck realized and ginned a bit sheepishly, "oh, right... my mistake."

"Wait a second…" Tech trailed off as he reversed the footage to find a peculiarity. "Slam, how many of those ice shots did you deflect?"

Slam scratched his head as he tried to remember. "Uhhh… dree."

"Exactly! You knocked three from the sky, but I counted four shots coming from the skull like protrusion. Where'd the other one go?"

Slam scratched his head again as he shrugged his shoulders with no answer.

"That's peculiar…"

"Ooo!-I-know!-Since-Zodavia-said-they-were-from-another-dimension-maybe-their-ice-attacks-traveled-back-into-their-own-dimension.-I-don't-know-much-about-dimensional-traveling-but-this-really-cool-comic-book-I-read-says-that-another-dimension-could-possibly-be-the-parallel-of-our-own-so-that-means...mmm-mmm!!!"

Rev's beaks was clamped tight and trapped under a wrapping of foil. The foil came from the hot dog Rev brought and Tech used his powers to wrap it around Rev's motor mouth.

"It means that we are going to be quiet and discontinue ramblings about any ridiculous theories."

"mmm, mmm-mmm!!!"

"Ahh, that's more like it."

Click!... _Tech fires the torpedo and misses when the ship levitated into the air. Tech transforms their ship into a flying jet. Ace commands an attack but the gravity disks were frozen to the launch mechanism… _Click!

"Hey Tech?" Lexi looked over, "what happened to the torpedo that you fired? From what I saw, it looks to me that the torpedo was headed right towards the docking bay."

"Ahh, good observation Lexi. Naturally with missiles and torpedoes being as dangerous as they are, I placed a deactivation control on them. The two chemical substances that create the explosion are automatically separated from each other to prevent any accidental explosions from occurring."

"Very nice Tech. No wonder you're the genius around here."

"Why thank you Lexi."

"Did-you-retrieve-the-torpedo-after-the-mission," Rev countered with slowly drawn out words and hints of anger after removing the foil from his beak.

"Uh... uhummm..."

"I-thought-so."

"Mental note," Tech whispered to himself, "Set retrieval of torpedo as top priority, followed after creating a supplement to silence Rev's voice." "Shall we continue?" Tech tried speaking nonchalantly to cover up his bruised ego.

Click!..._ The Loonatics burst in on the Vikings at the central power grid. The battle ensues as Slam and Gunnar fire beams at each other, but Slam falls…_ Click!

"Hey, uh, Slam ol' buddy... what's with the beam ya shootin at ol' skull face there?"

Slam looked at the hologram and rewound the footage several times while trying to think what had happened during that mission. "Uhhh... majzick?"

"Could it have been Tech's weapon we used earlier?" Lexi commented.

"No, it doesn't seem that way Lexi," Tech remarked. "Footage of the time we entered into the power core showed no indication of Slam handling the retrofire master blaster when the battle ensued."

"That's weird."

"Oh who cares, let's just get this thing over with so I can go take a nap."

Click!..._ Gunnar was knocked by Ace onto the power core as the energy transferred from the helmets, striking Tech in the process as well. Duck lifts the helmet and finds remnants of Tech's head…_ Click.

"Hey, doesn't that hurt?"

"You have no idea."

Click, click, click!

"Well there you have it everyone, my latest invention the MRI at work. What do you think?"

"I think it's a great invention for reviewing our battle skills, like you said," Ace nodded approvingly.

"I'm with Ace. It's a great invention Tech," Lexi added.

"Uhh-huh!" Slam smiled.

"Yeah-it's-super-duper-cool-and-makes-for-great-entertainment-too-and, mmm-mmmm..."

"...(sigh), please try to keep it constructive Rev. Duck?"

"Huh... oh, yeah yeah its great. Can we go now?"

"Not yet," Tech said firmly. "I want to know what you guys have learned from this little session."

"Eh, we need to practice tactical coordination?" Ace asked.

"We need to find out about those plot holes." Lexi chimed.

"We know Tech is still a nerd." Duck groaned.

"And-now-we-just-found-out-how-much-of-a-control-freak-he-is." Rev declared whimsically.

"(sigh)... well that didn't turn out quite what I expected." Tech twitched.

* * *

Well, I hope you enjoyed it. If not, I warned you!

With all that's said and done by our beloved team, cheers for them all. As you can tell, this style is very new to me so all the crazy insights, running gags, and other miscellaneous items will continue without mercy! Sit tight and wait for another fun-filled episode of... THE LOONATIC CRITIQUE!

Author side note:

I also forgot to mention that I have been unable to watch the new episodes for the second season. Many projects to do, so I hope any information or plot I give won't contradict the show. Anyway, just a heads up if anyone thinks I'm out of my mind.

Oh yeah, internet connection on my end is getting annoying. Somehow, my IP address was erased so I am unable to connect. The only reason I'm able to submit this story is through my roommate's computer. A temporary fix, but at least a way to get by for now. Take care everyone.


End file.
